We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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