we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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