I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
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