I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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