Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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