Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
