Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
