so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
