I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
