And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
