Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
