So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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