Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
