once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
