In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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