Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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