guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
