i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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