Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
