I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
