i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
