Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
