i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize