3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
