i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
