Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
