I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
