420 ftw
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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