she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
