We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize