If i come over, it means nothing
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
