Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
