i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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