I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
