life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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