We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
