i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
