32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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