Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
