Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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