A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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