You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
