do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
