The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
