Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
