Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dicks are not precious.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
