i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
