dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
