My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
