found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
