If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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