How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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