I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
