Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
