Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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