don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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