wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
