i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
