there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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