why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
