Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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