Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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