he shaved USA in his pubs
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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