I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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